Today is my 21st wedding anniversary. It's also been 1 month to the day that I lost my soul mate, best friend, and the love of my life. I feel like a shell of a person walking and talking but not really there. Sometimes I even wonder if that life was a dream or if this life is a nightmare. I honestly feel like I can't survive without him some days but I get up. I eat at least once a day. I take a bath, check my glucose, take my shots, do the housework and the cooking that I am able to do. I have been going through all Brian's belonging. For every item that leaves the house I feel like I lose him again. I had to take the sacks of his clothes and shoes to my daughters home because I just couldn't give them away.
I may feel like I'm dying inside but only my pillows know the wracking sobs that happen at bedtime when he isn't there and I don't here his content breathing in sleep.
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